New Book on Messy Relationships

Relationships: A Mess Worth Making?

With penetrating insight and practical applications, Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp help readers work through the most stubborn problems plaguing contemporary relationships

Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX—From the very first chapter, authors Timothy S. Lane and

Paul David Tripp drop the masks of “relationship experts” and “got-it-together professionals” to honestly speak of the difficulties and restoration they have encountered in their own friendship. By admitting the reality of their own struggles and need for grace, Tim and Paul inform readers up front that their new book, Relationships: A Mess Worth Making (New Growth Press, January 2007), is not theoretical, but personal and experiential.

With transparent candor, the authors admit, “We are not saying that we are heroes of relationships. No, the opposite is true. We would like readers, through this book, to look through the shattered glass of our sin and struggle and see the rescuing glory of an ever-present and still-redeeming Christ.”

While skillfully identifying the deeper issues that keep relationships less than they are designed to be, Tim and Paul also show readers how to experience the other side of relationships as well. They convincingly testify of the power of God’s presence to bring believers to the place where:

• Conflicts actually get resolved

• Tough conversations turn out positive

• Forgiveness is granted and real love is expressed and shared

• Casual relationships mature into deep friendships

• Weaknesses are overlooked and strengths are applauded

• People are honest without being mean

A book about relationships, written within the context of their own friendship, Tim and Paul’s new offering is straightforward about the relational disappointments that we all suffer. But they are also optimistic about the power of grace to redeem and restore our relationships. Rather than presenting new or sophisticated techniques to make relationships flourish, the authors instead focus on the basic character qualities that can only be formed in the heart by the gospel. “We are called to be people of great character so that when we do come in contact with the world our character shapes and influences those around us. Even though relationships are messy, they are also what God uses to rescue us from ourselves,” say Tim and Paul.

Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp

New Growth Press, January 2007

ISBN: 0-9770807-6-5/171 pages/softcover/$17.99

Excerpts from Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

“Eight biblical facts summarize the way God wants us to think about our relationships. They are the foundation for our model of healthy, godly relationships. (Summarized on pages 9-14)

1. You were made for relationships.

2. In some way, all relationships are difficult.

3. Each of us is tempted to make relationships the end rather than the means.

4. There are no secrets that guarantee problem-free relationships.

5. At some point you will wonder whether relationships are worth it.

6. God keeps us in messy relationships for his redemptive purpose.

7. The fact that our relationships work as well as they do is a sure sign of grace.

8. Scripture offers a clear and attractive hope for our relationships.”

“God has put people in your life and placed you in theirs. When you look back, you can see their imprint on your character. There have been times when you were very glad not to go through life alone. You have been greeted by patience and grace even after a failure. And you too have been willing to forgive and have experienced the blessing of doing so.”

“We all live in these two worlds in some way. Some of our deepest joys and most painful hurts have been in relationships. There are times we wish we could live alone and other times we are glad we don’t. What is certain is that we all have been shaped significantly by relationships that are full of both sorrow and joy.”

“In Genesis 2:18, God says that it is not good for man to be ‘alone.’ This statement has more to do with God’s design for humanity than Adam’s neediness. God created us to be relational beings because he is a social God.”

“When we fail to worship God as Creator in our relationships, we try to ascend to his throne and do all we can to recreate others in our own image...

…This has many implications for relationships, because only when I am worshipping God for who he is am I able to love you as you are. Real love and esteem for other people are always rooted in our worship of God.”

“Conflict with others is one of God’s mysterious, counterintuitive ways of rescuing us from ourselves. God uses it to get us where he wants to take us before we die. Because we don’t usually think that trials can be used in such a positive way, this truth catches us by surprise. But it shouldn’t. All kinds of suffering, including conflict with others, can be redemptive because of the grace of God. By redemptive, we mean that God can use conflict (as well as everything else in our lives) to defeat sin in us and make us more like Christ, with a love for him and others that reflects his nature.”

“No one ever said that conflict would be fun! But the Christian life is not always fun. That is not the most important thing to God. He is committed to something much bigger. His kingdom plan involves a total restoration of what he has made. He will settle for nothing less in his creation than to see that all things ultimately bring him glory. He will be the center of everything at the end of the age, and, when that happens, we will be most satisfied. Right now, he is using conflict to work out this comprehensive plan in you. Take heart, for he is present in your struggles and is fighting on your behalf!”